1 00:00:05,880 --> 00:00:07,319 If you're not from Ireland, 2 00:00:07,320 --> 00:00:10,079 here's everything you need to know about the debs. 3 00:00:10,080 --> 00:00:13,319 It's absolute, complete and total, utter debauchery. 4 00:00:13,320 --> 00:00:15,359 Fuck off! 5 00:00:15,360 --> 00:00:18,719 Anything goes. It's dog eat dog, 6 00:00:18,720 --> 00:00:22,279 universally regarded as the best day in your entire life. 7 00:00:22,280 --> 00:00:24,000 HE RETCHES 8 00:00:25,480 --> 00:00:28,919 But, seeing as myself and Jock are now past pupils... 9 00:00:28,920 --> 00:00:31,799 Expelled! Expelled! 10 00:00:31,800 --> 00:00:35,279 You're so, so, so expelled! 11 00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:37,719 ..we just have to wait to be invited. 12 00:00:37,720 --> 00:00:40,599 Here, why haven't they invited us yet? It's 13 days to the debs. 13 00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:42,879 Fuck, I know. We're pretty much married to them 14 00:00:42,880 --> 00:00:45,039 and they still haven't popped the question. 15 00:00:45,040 --> 00:00:47,599 I don't care anyway, like, but... Yeah. 16 00:00:47,600 --> 00:00:50,759 Neither do I. ..it's just weird that they haven't asked us. 17 00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:52,839 It's a bit fucking weird all right. 18 00:00:52,840 --> 00:00:55,160 Debs is ridiculous anyway. Fuck that. 19 00:00:59,680 --> 00:01:02,799 So, do you want to come to the debs with us or what? 20 00:01:02,800 --> 00:01:05,279 Erm, when is it? Saturday week. 21 00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:07,359 Are you, Saturday week...? Saturday? 22 00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:10,000 I think we're free that day. We are. Cool. 23 00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:17,800 And... they're... 24 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:20,879 ..gone. 25 00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:24,280 BOTH CHEER EXCITEDLY 26 00:01:29,400 --> 00:01:31,919 BOTH: We're going to the debs! We're going to the debs! 27 00:01:31,920 --> 00:01:34,160 Whoo! Whoo! 28 00:01:37,560 --> 00:01:41,199 Saying yes to go to someone's debs comes with certain obligations. 29 00:01:41,200 --> 00:01:42,919 I spent nine months incubating this baby 30 00:01:42,920 --> 00:01:44,639 and six months with her hanging off my tit. 31 00:01:44,640 --> 00:01:46,559 I've been hormonal and angry that entire time. 32 00:01:46,560 --> 00:01:48,759 I love this child, but for the last two years, 33 00:01:48,760 --> 00:01:50,759 all I've been hearing is everyone going, 34 00:01:50,760 --> 00:01:52,719 "Oh, she's so special," blah, blah, blah. 35 00:01:52,720 --> 00:01:54,679 I just want one night where I can feel special. 36 00:01:54,680 --> 00:01:57,040 I don't ask for much, OK? 37 00:02:01,240 --> 00:02:03,119 The cost of damage that was caused to my hotel 38 00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:05,679 during your school debs last year far outweighed the profits. 39 00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:07,959 It's up to you to keep the kids under control, 40 00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:10,119 or you'll never have the use of this hotel again. 41 00:02:10,120 --> 00:02:12,239 This year, me and every teacher at the school 42 00:02:12,240 --> 00:02:13,639 will be there supervising. 43 00:02:13,640 --> 00:02:15,799 As I said, you have nothing to worry about. 44 00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:17,920 - By the way... - SHE CLEARS HER THROAT 45 00:02:17,923 --> 00:02:19,759 ..is it true what I heard? 46 00:02:19,760 --> 00:02:22,920 That two of your students pissed on you last year? 47 00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:25,439 HE CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY 48 00:02:25,440 --> 00:02:27,919 You make it sound like it happened twice. 49 00:02:27,920 --> 00:02:30,199 They both pissed on me at the same time. 50 00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:32,960 PHONE RINGS 51 00:02:34,360 --> 00:02:36,719 Yes, hello. This is about the rats, isn't it? 52 00:02:36,720 --> 00:02:40,039 If they ban us, that'll be every hotel in the county. 53 00:02:40,040 --> 00:02:43,239 Next year's debs would have to be held in the school canteen. 54 00:02:43,240 --> 00:02:44,799 The school will be destroyed. 55 00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:47,399 At least Conor and Jock are expelled. 56 00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:49,079 Imagine if they turned up! 57 00:02:49,080 --> 00:02:51,400 - THEY LAUGH - Wouldn't that be funny? 58 00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:55,599 Please, please, please! 59 00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:58,719 Stop begging, Dad. We're bringing Conor and Jock. 60 00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:01,159 We'll look like total plebs with no dates. 61 00:03:01,160 --> 00:03:04,399 Plenty of kids dance on their own at the debs. I did. 62 00:03:04,400 --> 00:03:05,759 Didn't do me any harm. 63 00:03:05,760 --> 00:03:08,479 How many friends do you have from secondary school, Barry? 64 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:09,960 There's, erm... 65 00:03:11,120 --> 00:03:13,439 Yeah, exactly. 66 00:03:13,440 --> 00:03:16,639 This special day that you've both been dreaming of? 67 00:03:16,640 --> 00:03:19,559 It's going to be a disaster. You don't know that. You're not a psychic. 68 00:03:19,560 --> 00:03:21,559 I don't need to be when it comes to the two of them. 69 00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:23,040 They're as predictable as the tide. 70 00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:34,119 Careful! You lobbed me in my eye with that shit! 71 00:03:34,120 --> 00:03:36,279 Relax! It'll grow back. 72 00:03:36,280 --> 00:03:39,439 Why don't you just go to the barber's like normal kids? 73 00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:42,159 On debs day? Fuck that. 74 00:03:42,160 --> 00:03:44,879 Last year, the barbers were so busy, two lads lost their ears. 75 00:03:44,880 --> 00:03:47,560 Linda, what are you using to make your tits look bigger? 76 00:03:48,560 --> 00:03:49,599 Just my tits. 77 00:03:49,600 --> 00:03:51,799 I don't know why you want this stuff on your bodies. 78 00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:53,319 Fake tan is for girls. 79 00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:56,559 That's sexist, that is. Stop being sexist. 80 00:03:56,560 --> 00:03:59,319 Make sure it's nice and even, now. No streaks like last time. 81 00:03:59,320 --> 00:04:00,600 Flip it. 82 00:04:03,280 --> 00:04:06,879 Why do you have to make your... your chests look bigger? 83 00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:09,079 You said you wanted to be a part of our special day, 84 00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:11,640 and part of that special day is making my tits look bigger. 85 00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:15,159 I'll be back in a minute. 86 00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:18,639 Just going to go get a pair of socks so I can shove them down my pants. 87 00:04:18,640 --> 00:04:20,360 Grow up, Barry. 88 00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:23,920 Now, that is looking beautiful. 89 00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:33,519 Well, you look like a very fine pair of young men. 90 00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:35,600 The girls are going to be very pleased to see ye. 91 00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:38,999 All right, all right, quick spot-check. 92 00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:40,759 BOTH: Corsage - check, naggins - check, 93 00:04:40,760 --> 00:04:42,639 fags - check, half a dozen condoms - check. 94 00:04:42,640 --> 00:04:44,920 Jock? Check. Conor? Check. 95 00:04:48,240 --> 00:04:51,039 Have fun. I put on so much spray. 96 00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:52,720 Oh, wait. Hang on a sec. 97 00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:57,359 Now, you two have a good night, 98 00:04:57,360 --> 00:04:59,399 and here's an extra 20 each for you, all right? 99 00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:02,399 Thanks. Thanks. Here we go. 100 00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:05,159 I better go before I get caught talking to that snobby cow Orla. 101 00:05:05,160 --> 00:05:06,400 All right, see ye! 102 00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:13,839 BOTH: Good evening, Mrs Walsh. Here are some flowers for you. 103 00:05:13,840 --> 00:05:15,239 Mairead! 104 00:05:15,240 --> 00:05:17,199 I know you're not dressed for the occasion, 105 00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:19,680 but you're invited, too, for a drink. Come on. 106 00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:25,480 Would you look at ye pair of rides! 107 00:05:27,720 --> 00:05:29,720 Come on in, boys. Thank you. 108 00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:36,319 How wonderful. 109 00:05:36,320 --> 00:05:38,399 Welcome. Thanks so much. 110 00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:41,400 Oh! Oh, OK. We're kissing. All right. 111 00:05:42,480 --> 00:05:44,879 Lads, I want you to drink responsibly tonight. 112 00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:46,800 The key is to take small sips. 113 00:05:49,080 --> 00:05:50,359 JOCK BURPS 114 00:05:50,360 --> 00:05:53,079 Oh, keep them coming, Orla. Some taste of more off that. 115 00:05:53,080 --> 00:05:54,479 Oh, no, thanks. I'm driving. 116 00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:56,839 I got my sister to mind Star for the night, 117 00:05:56,840 --> 00:05:59,359 so us yummy grannies can have a girlie night in. 118 00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:00,780 SHE LAUGHS AWKWARDLY 119 00:06:00,781 --> 00:06:02,199 "Yummy grannies." 120 00:06:02,200 --> 00:06:05,200 Dad! Oh, they're ready. 121 00:06:08,520 --> 00:06:10,559 All right. Don't you two know anything? 122 00:06:10,560 --> 00:06:12,520 All right! They need to make an entrance. 123 00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:18,360 Jock, close your eyes. You, too, Conor. Close your eyes. 124 00:06:20,120 --> 00:06:22,439 Where's...? It's over there. 125 00:06:22,440 --> 00:06:24,199 GLASS SMASHES 126 00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:26,159 Hurry up and make your entrance, girls, 127 00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:28,079 before they fucking destroy the place! 128 00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:29,280 JOCK BURPS 129 00:06:37,240 --> 00:06:39,840 She looks like a pornographic meringue. 130 00:06:41,720 --> 00:06:43,480 You can open them. 131 00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:51,039 You look like someone out of Playboy. 132 00:06:51,040 --> 00:06:52,040 SHE LAUGHS 133 00:06:52,041 --> 00:06:53,040 Thanks. 134 00:06:53,041 --> 00:06:56,639 You look amazing. Thanks. 135 00:06:56,640 --> 00:07:00,039 I decided to wear something that's a part of my Nigerian heritage. 136 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:04,040 Yeah, I got... Yeah, yeah. I mean, your heritage is great, too, like. 137 00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:07,999 I thought we talked about you wearing something normal. 138 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:09,599 This IS normal. 139 00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:11,039 Well, if that's normal, 140 00:07:11,040 --> 00:07:13,400 I'd hate to think what you were thinking of wearing. 141 00:07:16,440 --> 00:07:18,520 Fuck you, Batman! You'll never catch us! 142 00:07:27,120 --> 00:07:28,920 What's in the giant boxes? 143 00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:33,319 So, these are your corsages. 144 00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:36,119 Please tell me you got the one I sent you a picture of. 145 00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:37,839 The one in the picture was way too tiny. 146 00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:39,999 I mean, you mean more to me than that. 147 00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:41,679 All right, you ready? 148 00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:43,239 Ah! 149 00:07:43,240 --> 00:07:44,479 Ah! 150 00:07:44,480 --> 00:07:46,759 Where am I going to stick that? On a coffin? 151 00:07:46,760 --> 00:07:48,719 It's my debs, Jock, not my funeral. 152 00:07:48,720 --> 00:07:51,999 Don't panic, girls. Orla Walsh to the rescue. 153 00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:54,679 I'm like Edward Scissorhands when it comes to flowers. 154 00:07:54,680 --> 00:07:56,319 I'd better get back to the hotel, 155 00:07:56,320 --> 00:07:58,199 make sure everything's running smoothly. 156 00:07:58,200 --> 00:08:00,199 I'll see you later, girls. BOTH: Bye, Dad. 157 00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:03,120 - SCISSORS CLICK - Who's Edward Scissorshands? 158 00:08:09,560 --> 00:08:13,399 Listen, lads, could you do me a favour tonight? Of course. Sure. 159 00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:16,839 Anything. You know that little spark that goes off in your head? 160 00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:18,759 The one that, when the two of you act on it, 161 00:08:18,760 --> 00:08:20,919 normally leads to chaos and destruction? 162 00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:22,879 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. 163 00:08:22,880 --> 00:08:25,280 Please don't do that tonight. 164 00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:29,720 Right. So, you're saying not to have any fun? 165 00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:33,119 If that's what you mean by fun, then, yeah. 166 00:08:33,120 --> 00:08:36,800 You have our word - one boring night coming right up. 167 00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:39,759 OK. 168 00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:43,079 Hey, wait to see what we've got bringing us to the debs. 169 00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:44,679 We know it's a fucking carriage, Jock. 170 00:08:44,680 --> 00:08:46,359 I'm the one who told you to organise it. 171 00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:50,479 How am I supposed to surprise you if you keep on acting like you know what the surprise is going to be? 172 00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:53,319 A surprise is only a surprise when I don't know what's going to happen. 173 00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:56,119 But you've told me exactly what you want to do for the whole night, 174 00:08:56,120 --> 00:08:57,919 so the only way to actually surprise you 175 00:08:57,920 --> 00:08:59,719 is by not doing what you want me to do. 176 00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:02,839 And if I do that, you're going to get pissed off. No, I won't. 177 00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:05,879 OK, so we improvised on the suits. Were you pissed off? 178 00:09:05,880 --> 00:09:09,199 We improvised on the corsages. Were you pissed off? 179 00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:10,879 Did you improvise on the carriage? 180 00:09:10,880 --> 00:09:13,319 No, Your Majesty. Great. 181 00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:15,800 Now, video me looking surprised when it arrives. 182 00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:22,040 - Close your eyes. - HORSES' HOOVES APPROACH 183 00:09:22,043 --> 00:09:24,999 Oh, my God! What's that sound? 184 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:26,960 It's the horse and carriage. 185 00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:31,359 I'm pretending to be surprised, so start it again, all right? 186 00:09:31,360 --> 00:09:32,840 Close your eyes. 187 00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:37,960 Oh, my God! You got a horse and carriage! 188 00:09:44,920 --> 00:09:46,639 What the fuck?! 189 00:09:46,640 --> 00:09:48,959 Siobhan, you're pretty good at acting surprised. 190 00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:50,640 Stop filming! 191 00:09:51,760 --> 00:09:53,839 All right, lads? Ladies, you look lovely. 192 00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:55,599 Thank you very much. 193 00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:57,519 What's with the uneven horses? 194 00:09:57,520 --> 00:09:59,119 MUMBLES: Nothing about even horses. 195 00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:01,039 He said you said nothing about even. 196 00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:04,599 I know I'm not a horse expert, like, but this doesn't look right. 197 00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:06,679 We'll just end up going in circles. 198 00:10:06,680 --> 00:10:09,599 The big horse is just for show. The smallest one does all the work. 199 00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:11,719 Excuse me, horse people, 200 00:10:11,720 --> 00:10:14,879 could you just drop us off around the corner from the hotel, please? 201 00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:16,559 We'll never live it down 202 00:10:16,560 --> 00:10:18,959 if everyone from school sees us arrive in that heap of shit. 203 00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:21,600 - DANCE MUSIC BLARES - Too late for that. Oh, fuck! 204 00:10:24,360 --> 00:10:26,320 LAUGHTER 205 00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:32,720 CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICK 206 00:10:33,840 --> 00:10:37,559 PHONES BEEP 207 00:10:37,560 --> 00:10:40,520 They just posted us to the fucking debs WhatsApp group. 208 00:10:41,560 --> 00:10:43,639 This could possibly be the most humiliating thing 209 00:10:43,640 --> 00:10:45,680 that has ever happened to me in my entire life. 210 00:10:48,160 --> 00:10:50,160 Come on, just get in the carriage. 211 00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:54,760 - No, let go of the train! - SHE CLEARS HER THROAT 212 00:10:57,280 --> 00:11:00,079 Yeah, I said they're nice, like. No. 213 00:11:00,080 --> 00:11:04,999 Oh, right. Yeah. After you, my African queen. 214 00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:08,240 - And I thank you, my good sir. - THEY LAUGH 215 00:11:08,243 --> 00:11:12,080 How do you get into it? Just climb up. It stinks of shit. 216 00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:17,439 That one was taken on vacation in Lanzarote last year. 217 00:11:17,440 --> 00:11:19,959 You can get a suite in a five-star hotel over there 218 00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:24,399 for the price of a three-star here. Really? Mm-hm. 219 00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:27,200 I better leave. I have to, erm, feed the duck. 220 00:11:28,280 --> 00:11:31,079 The duck? Mm-hm. 221 00:11:31,080 --> 00:11:33,480 You're blowing me off for a duck? 222 00:11:35,080 --> 00:11:37,760 Do you really not like me that much? 223 00:11:39,320 --> 00:11:41,519 I don't not like you. 224 00:11:41,520 --> 00:11:43,920 You don't NOT like me means you don't like me. 225 00:11:45,640 --> 00:11:48,479 OK, this is getting a bit weird, so I'm just going to leave 226 00:11:48,480 --> 00:11:50,800 before it gets any weirder, all right? It's... 227 00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:55,879 Too late for that. We're in the middle of weird. 228 00:11:55,880 --> 00:11:59,199 Now, out with it - what's your problem with me? 229 00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:02,759 Do you really want to know? Oh, do share. 230 00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:06,279 You are constantly making out that you are better than me, 231 00:12:06,280 --> 00:12:08,639 bigging yourself up while talking me down 232 00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:11,439 with your fancy, snobby accent and your fancy, snobby clothes 233 00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:14,319 and your fancy, snobby hair and your fancy, frilly, snobby curtains 234 00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:16,320 and your frilly, fucking snobby house. 235 00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:19,360 I talk snobby, yeah? 236 00:12:20,720 --> 00:12:22,640 Dress snobby? Act snobby? 237 00:12:24,120 --> 00:12:25,480 Fine. 238 00:12:31,680 --> 00:12:33,880 I'm just trying to impress you. 239 00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:38,520 I know I overdo it and I can be really annoying... 240 00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:42,319 ..but I don't have a lot of friends. 241 00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:44,360 Not ones that aren't assholes, anyway. 242 00:12:47,080 --> 00:12:48,440 Me neither. 243 00:12:51,840 --> 00:12:53,760 You've got make-up on your sleeve. 244 00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:03,399 Would you like a glass of 7.99 sparkling white wine, 245 00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:06,480 which, incidentally, came in a box? 246 00:13:09,120 --> 00:13:10,960 Do you have a pint glass? 247 00:13:12,640 --> 00:13:15,359 CONOR: One of the main advantages of cars over horses 248 00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:18,599 is they have windows to stop your shoes falling out. 249 00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:20,480 Oh, shit! My shoe! 250 00:13:21,520 --> 00:13:23,600 No! No, no! Stop! 251 00:13:24,680 --> 00:13:27,759 Oh, you fucking arsehole! You fucking prick! 252 00:13:27,760 --> 00:13:29,719 It's fine, though. Look, I'm fine. 253 00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:31,599 You've got no shoe. Yeah, but it's grand. 254 00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:34,200 That's what you get for riding in a fucking carriage! 255 00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:36,800 Just help me get down. 256 00:13:39,040 --> 00:13:43,479 Here, you can use my shoe, Cinderella. 257 00:13:43,480 --> 00:13:45,999 Why, thank you very much, Prince Charming. 258 00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:47,519 Well, what does that make me? 259 00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:50,720 Erm, one of her beautiful sisters. 260 00:13:53,720 --> 00:13:56,600 There you go. Thank you very much. 261 00:13:58,200 --> 00:13:59,520 I mean, I like it. 262 00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:06,520 HORSE NEIGHS 263 00:14:09,280 --> 00:14:10,919 What's wrong with the big horse? 264 00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:13,439 She gets travel-sick and she needs to vomit. 265 00:14:13,440 --> 00:14:15,599 I thought horses couldn't vomit. 266 00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:18,159 Well, this one can, and it's like green dishwater. 267 00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:20,319 Oh, shit! I've got something on my dress. 268 00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:22,399 What the f...? 269 00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:26,719 Oh, it's fine. I've picked it off. It's barely noticeable. 270 00:14:26,720 --> 00:14:30,440 You can't stand there. It's my debs. I'll stand wherever the fuck I like. 271 00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:33,839 HORSE GRUNTS 272 00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:35,879 SHE SCREAMS 273 00:14:35,880 --> 00:14:37,280 HORSE WHINNIES 274 00:14:37,281 --> 00:14:38,679 Oh, my... Oh, gee! 275 00:14:38,680 --> 00:14:40,639 LAUGHTER 276 00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:41,959 CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICK 277 00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:43,600 HE COUGHS 278 00:14:45,360 --> 00:14:48,319 Fuck my life! 279 00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:51,359 Let's not blow this out of proportion, now. You're fine. 280 00:14:51,360 --> 00:14:54,440 Just shut up and help me clean this up! 281 00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:58,319 Erm... tissues. 282 00:14:58,320 --> 00:15:01,639 SHE SCREAMS 283 00:15:01,640 --> 00:15:03,800 - SHE COUGHS - It's not actually that bad. 284 00:15:06,760 --> 00:15:09,680 What are they doing here? Who? Conor and Jock. 285 00:15:11,440 --> 00:15:15,799 They're just two innocent lads that happen to be my daughters' dates. 286 00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:20,639 Traitor! Are they the expelled pissers who pissed on your pants? 287 00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:23,439 BOTH SHOUT AGGRESSIVELY 288 00:15:23,440 --> 00:15:25,359 If you can't stop them from pissing on you, 289 00:15:25,360 --> 00:15:28,600 how are you going to stop them from pissing on my hotel carpet? 290 00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:39,199 THEY CHUCKLE 291 00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:42,199 Why did you keep your debs dress AND your wedding dress? 292 00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:43,960 Sentimental value. 293 00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:47,759 The day I lost my virginity. 294 00:15:47,760 --> 00:15:49,879 The day Barry lost his virginity. 295 00:15:49,880 --> 00:15:52,240 SHE LAUGHS 296 00:15:54,160 --> 00:15:56,679 We'll just get it sorted. We'll sort this inside, OK, 297 00:15:56,680 --> 00:15:58,440 as soon as we get in? Whoa, whoa, whoa! 298 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:02,119 You two, you're not coming in. 299 00:16:02,120 --> 00:16:04,759 DANCE MUSIC BLARES IN DISTANCE 300 00:16:04,760 --> 00:16:07,999 Don't worry, girls. We got this. 301 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:11,600 All right, we're going. Right, see you later. 302 00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:13,720 Ooh! 303 00:16:13,721 --> 00:16:14,839 THEY GROAN 304 00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:17,400 Fuck! He's like an ox! 305 00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:24,240 We're wearing him down, boy. Come on, he's getting tired. 306 00:16:25,280 --> 00:16:26,759 THEY PANT 307 00:16:26,760 --> 00:16:28,959 I warned the girls their night would be a disaster 308 00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:30,719 if they went to the debs with you two, 309 00:16:30,720 --> 00:16:33,719 and you've proven to be 100% predictable. 310 00:16:33,720 --> 00:16:37,399 Oh, predictable? Us? Yes, you. 311 00:16:37,400 --> 00:16:40,079 All right, if we're so predictable, 312 00:16:40,080 --> 00:16:41,999 did you know we were going to do, erm...? 313 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:43,840 Did you know we were going to do this? 314 00:16:45,440 --> 00:16:48,039 Girls, get inside. 315 00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:50,919 No, they're staying with us. 316 00:16:50,920 --> 00:16:54,159 Come on, boys. Do the right thing. 317 00:16:54,160 --> 00:16:57,119 Fuck this. Come on, Linda. No. Wait, wait, wait. 318 00:16:57,120 --> 00:17:00,799 Everything's going to be fine. No, it's not going to be fucking fine! 319 00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:03,919 Do you know how people look at me now I have a baby? 320 00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:05,560 Like I'm a freak. 321 00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:08,919 This was meant to be my one night of being special, 322 00:17:08,920 --> 00:17:10,200 and this is what I get? 323 00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:13,159 If you can't even get one night right, 324 00:17:13,160 --> 00:17:15,920 what do I have to look forward to with you as my boyfriend? 325 00:17:18,640 --> 00:17:20,240 Fuck you, Siobhan. 326 00:17:21,600 --> 00:17:24,519 Enjoy the debs. I hope you find someone to dance with. 327 00:17:24,520 --> 00:17:26,720 Yeah, well, there's plenty to choose from. 328 00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:29,060 Come on, Linda. 329 00:17:29,061 --> 00:17:30,319 DANCE MUSIC BLARES 330 00:17:30,320 --> 00:17:31,760 SHE MOUTHS 331 00:17:38,440 --> 00:17:41,720 - PHONE BEEPS - Wait, my phone. Wait a second. 332 00:17:41,723 --> 00:17:45,759 Oh, fuck's sake. He's fucking langers drunk. 333 00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:48,199 Who? Oh. 334 00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:50,039 I know what you're thinking, right? 335 00:17:50,040 --> 00:17:54,479 "When will that annoying prick Tony ever leave me alone?" 336 00:17:54,480 --> 00:17:56,540 And the answer is never. 337 00:17:56,541 --> 00:17:58,599 HE LAUGHS 338 00:17:58,600 --> 00:18:00,359 Have I made you smile yet? 339 00:18:00,360 --> 00:18:03,759 Come on. Let's get drunk together. 340 00:18:03,760 --> 00:18:08,079 Oh, I'm already drunk, but you can catch up. 341 00:18:08,080 --> 00:18:12,040 What are you doing? "On my way." 342 00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:15,919 Well, we're not staying here all night. 343 00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:17,360 Come on, on three. 344 00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:21,740 SHE LAUGHS 345 00:18:21,741 --> 00:18:23,319 One, two, three. 346 00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:24,560 - SHE SCREAMS - Fuck! 347 00:18:24,563 --> 00:18:26,200 SHE LAUGHS 348 00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:30,359 Fuck them! Yeah, fuck them! Debs is ridiculous. 349 00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:32,879 Did you hear that? Predictable - us? 350 00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:36,759 What we need to do now is just do something completely unpredictable. 351 00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:38,479 And we can be unpredictable, boy. Yeah. 352 00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:40,199 The only reason they're not letting us in 353 00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:42,559 is cos they think we're going to do some kind of damage. 354 00:18:42,560 --> 00:18:46,919 To show them, we just do absolutely nothing. 355 00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:49,479 Yeah. Yeah, they'd never expect that. 356 00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:51,879 We just go home. We just go home in silent protest. 357 00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:55,999 What are you going to fucking wipe your asses with now, eh? Dickheads. 358 00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:58,599 HE MUTTERS ANGRILY 359 00:18:58,600 --> 00:18:59,919 THEY GROAN 360 00:18:59,920 --> 00:19:04,399 HE SLURS DRUNKENLY 361 00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:08,839 Hey, put your hands in the air, motherfuckers! It's the Five-O! 362 00:19:08,840 --> 00:19:12,599 Hey! Hey! Is this normal? Yeah, yeah, he gets like that. 363 00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:14,919 Do you know what we need? 364 00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:17,319 We need pills and a party. 365 00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:19,519 What's that? What did you say? 366 00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:22,439 Maybe... Maybe just a party. Maybe just a party. 367 00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:23,879 SHE SNIGGERS 368 00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:28,319 Why don't I arrange a police escort for you? 369 00:19:28,320 --> 00:19:31,600 Ooh! Where to? 370 00:19:33,920 --> 00:19:37,519 HE SLURS DRUNKENLY 371 00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:39,519 MAIREAD SINGS 372 00:19:39,520 --> 00:19:41,000 - DANCE MUSIC BLARES - Come on, 373 00:19:41,003 --> 00:19:42,960 let's clean the horse vomit off of you. 374 00:19:52,680 --> 00:19:54,320 SHE SCREAMS 375 00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:04,279 SHE SOBS 376 00:20:04,280 --> 00:20:06,399 PARTYGOER: Lovely shade of green on you, Siobhan. 377 00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:08,999 CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS 378 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:11,959 Just move on. Stinking! Clear the way, thank you. 379 00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:13,879 PHONES BEEP 380 00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:16,439 You've got snot coming out of your nose. 381 00:20:16,440 --> 00:20:19,880 I don't care any more. It's starting to bubble. 382 00:20:30,120 --> 00:20:32,079 I know you wanted this night to be special, 383 00:20:32,080 --> 00:20:35,479 but I don't think it'll be the same without Conor and Jock. 384 00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:38,919 I know they can be incredibly annoying and silly... 385 00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:41,400 And stupid and pains in the hole! Yeah. 386 00:20:43,120 --> 00:20:50,520 But they're OUR stupid, silly, annoying pains in the holes, right? 387 00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:54,000 - SHE LAUGHS - Let's clean you up a bit. 388 00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:57,800 - LOUD CRACK - Ow! 389 00:21:01,520 --> 00:21:05,679 Shit. What the fuck are you doing? 390 00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:09,440 Relax, it's biodegradable. What are you doing here? 391 00:21:10,840 --> 00:21:12,799 Sorry. 392 00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:15,719 Whatever, like. Come on, let's go home. 393 00:21:15,720 --> 00:21:18,839 It's not good enough, Siobhan. Then what? 394 00:21:18,840 --> 00:21:20,519 What do you want me to say, like? 395 00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:24,720 Erm, how about, "Sorry for being a stupid, fucking selfish asshole?" 396 00:21:25,800 --> 00:21:29,320 Sorry for being a stupid, fucking selfish asshole. 397 00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:34,679 "The horse and carriage, albeit a little unconventional, 398 00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:36,559 "was actually a great novelty." 399 00:21:36,560 --> 00:21:40,439 The horse and carriage, albeit a little unconventional, 400 00:21:40,440 --> 00:21:42,519 was actually a great novelty. 401 00:21:42,520 --> 00:21:45,519 "I know it wasn't your fault that the horse threw up on me, 402 00:21:45,520 --> 00:21:47,200 "so I'm sorry for blaming you." 403 00:21:48,680 --> 00:21:51,719 It wasn't your fault the horse threw up on me, 404 00:21:51,720 --> 00:21:54,199 so I'm sorry for blaming you. 405 00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:56,799 "I'll stop giving out to you for picking your nose." 406 00:21:56,800 --> 00:21:59,999 I'm only apologising for things that are relative to tonight. 407 00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:01,520 Fair enough. 408 00:22:04,640 --> 00:22:07,080 Being there without you just didn't feel right. 409 00:22:09,040 --> 00:22:12,320 Yeah. No, I know what you mean. 410 00:22:13,560 --> 00:22:15,439 With everybody shifting everyone else, 411 00:22:15,440 --> 00:22:18,039 you'd probably look like a total loser on your own. 412 00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:20,479 Just so you know, all right, I wouldn't have minded 413 00:22:20,480 --> 00:22:23,919 if you had to shift someone else so as not to look like a loser. 414 00:22:23,920 --> 00:22:27,400 Cos it's your debs and I want it to be special for you. 415 00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:30,560 That's so sweet. 416 00:22:36,800 --> 00:22:38,440 All right, one last thing. 417 00:22:40,040 --> 00:22:41,679 "I'll make this up to you..." 418 00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:43,799 I'll make this up to you... 419 00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:45,600 "..by dancing with you." 420 00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:49,839 ..by dancing with you tonight. No, no, no, but not here. 421 00:22:49,840 --> 00:22:52,640 On the dance floor at the debs like you always wanted. 422 00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:01,640 Right, up, up, up, up, up. 423 00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:08,920 Here! 424 00:23:11,360 --> 00:23:14,960 We're coming. Jesus, slow down! There we go. 425 00:23:16,720 --> 00:23:18,799 You're supposed to wiggle your way through. I am. 426 00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:20,600 Ah, my balls. I am! 427 00:23:22,600 --> 00:23:24,360 HE GROANS 428 00:23:26,680 --> 00:23:29,799 He's all yours. Ah! What's wrong with you? It's my balls. 429 00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:31,959 Your balls are tiny. It doesn't matter. 430 00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:35,040 Ah! My lace is stuck in the latch. Pull me back. 431 00:23:36,280 --> 00:23:38,080 The other way! Ah! 432 00:23:43,920 --> 00:23:45,880 Nice one, Kev. No bother. 433 00:23:49,160 --> 00:23:52,680 THEY CHAT EXCITEDLY 434 00:23:54,440 --> 00:23:56,999 DANCE MUSIC BLARES 435 00:23:57,000 --> 00:24:00,199 PARTYGOER: Go on, Aoife! Go on, Aoife! 436 00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:01,959 DANCE MUSIC STOPS 437 00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:04,160 BAND PLAYS 438 00:24:13,600 --> 00:24:14,919 Hold the music. 439 00:24:14,920 --> 00:24:16,719 BAND STOPS PLAYING 440 00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:22,439 PARTYGOERS: How did they get in? They're dopes. Go home, lads. 441 00:24:22,440 --> 00:24:25,919 The music isn't starting until the two of you leave. 442 00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:27,439 Lads, just fuck off. 443 00:24:27,440 --> 00:24:31,039 Come on, just one dance with our ladies on the night of their debs. 444 00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:32,280 Then we'll go. 445 00:24:33,720 --> 00:24:37,039 All right, kick it! One, two, three! 446 00:24:37,040 --> 00:24:39,120 - BAND BEGINS TO PLAY - Don't start! 447 00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:43,079 Don't listen to her, boy. You're musicians. 448 00:24:43,080 --> 00:24:44,479 No-one tells you what to do. 449 00:24:44,480 --> 00:24:46,679 You play one note and that'll be the last time 450 00:24:46,680 --> 00:24:49,320 you ever work in this hotel. Understood? 451 00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:53,039 Fuck her, boy! She's not the boss of you. 452 00:24:53,040 --> 00:24:57,239 She actually is the boss of us. We're hotel staff. 453 00:24:57,240 --> 00:24:58,919 Oh. 454 00:24:58,920 --> 00:25:01,640 For the benefit of everyone else here... 455 00:25:03,040 --> 00:25:04,760 ..would you not just leave? 456 00:25:06,920 --> 00:25:08,759 Not until we dance. 457 00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:11,559 You'll find it hard to dance without music. 458 00:25:11,560 --> 00:25:13,280 PARTYGOER: Ah, go away! 459 00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:22,919 May I have this dance? 460 00:25:22,920 --> 00:25:25,439 PARTYGOERS: Aw! 461 00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:27,200 I would be honoured. 462 00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:39,760 Shall we? We shall. 463 00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:43,759 I love you. 464 00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:46,879 No matter how your debs night turns out, 465 00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:49,160 it's always going to be a special one. 466 00:25:53,080 --> 00:25:55,680 It's the one night that brings us all together. 467 00:25:59,120 --> 00:26:02,480 It's the one night when everyone deserves a dance. 468 00:26:04,600 --> 00:26:06,680 Sit. Guys, I need... Now, sit. 469 00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:16,320 THEY LAUGH 470 00:26:17,960 --> 00:26:19,780 This is a raid! 471 00:26:19,781 --> 00:26:21,599 GASPING 472 00:26:21,600 --> 00:26:24,239 No, I'm only joking. Keep fucking dancing. 473 00:26:24,240 --> 00:26:26,119 CHEERING 474 00:26:26,120 --> 00:26:28,999 Let's party at the raid! 475 00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:30,680 One, two, three. 476 00:26:30,681 --> 00:26:32,360 BAND PLAYS 477 00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:37,120 All right, boys! Give us a hug. Come on! 478 00:26:38,360 --> 00:26:40,759 CONOR: And it's the one when you should stop thinking about 479 00:26:40,760 --> 00:26:43,679 what everyone else thinks... Do you know what? 480 00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:46,599 Stick your hotel up your hole. 481 00:26:46,600 --> 00:26:48,959 We'll have the debs at the school next year. 482 00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:50,720 ..and just enjoy yourself. 483 00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:57,600 If you don't stop playing, that is your P45! 484 00:27:00,240 --> 00:27:02,319 Days, they go by 485 00:27:02,320 --> 00:27:06,160 And you're always there at my side 486 00:27:07,360 --> 00:27:12,759 Girl, I'm glad you're mine 487 00:27:12,760 --> 00:27:16,279 There are times I get distracted, girl 488 00:27:16,280 --> 00:27:19,919 By the ways and workings of this world 489 00:27:19,920 --> 00:27:23,399 But I think of you as my life's shrine 490 00:27:23,400 --> 00:27:25,879 And I'm glad that I'm yours 491 00:27:25,880 --> 00:27:28,359 And you're mine 492 00:27:28,360 --> 00:27:32,440 When I'm far from home and lonely 493 00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:39,440 And I think about my life 494 00:27:42,360 --> 00:27:44,399 I think about you 495 00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:48,200 All the little things that you do 496 00:27:49,440 --> 00:27:55,159 And I'm glad you're mine 497 00:27:55,160 --> 00:27:58,719 There are times I get distracted, girl 498 00:27:58,720 --> 00:28:02,319 By the ways and workings of this world 499 00:28:02,320 --> 00:28:05,719 But I think of you as my life's shrine 500 00:28:05,720 --> 00:28:08,119 And I'm glad that I'm yours 501 00:28:08,120 --> 00:28:13,680 And you're mine. 502 00:28:13,730 --> 00:28:18,280 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0